 I have too much stuff in my life to set goals
IF that stuff is achieving, contributing, helping others, securing your own future then you are good to go. If that stuff is holding you back it may be some “bad habits” you have picked up. They may not be bad in themselves, but they hold back your success. These could be “I have to watch all my favourite TV programs”, or “I have to go to the pub with my mates after work”, or “I have to sleep until 7am every morning”. If you have a “bad habit” that needs changing, try the “27th June” technique. Set a date in 30-days in the future and give yourself permission to indulge in the habit then, but NOT BEFORE. Put up posit-it notes around the house, car, office with that date on it. No one else need know what it means. Here is the kick, if you give in before the date you have to start again, so hang in there. By the time the 30 days is up you won’t feel the need to indulge in that habit anymore. The thing you gave up could now become a reward for achieving a milestone or goal. The “27th June” technique can also be used to create a new habit. Why 27th June? Ask me. For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources
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 Setting timeframes is too hard
Life imposes some timeframes on you, such as the date of the marathon you are training for, or when you will sit exams for a course, or a weight loss goal by summer time. So, your preparation fits into this timeframe. You know the timeframe and you can work back from the date to determine what to do and by when. However, most goals have a timeframe set by you, so you have the luxury of making the timeframe realistic, or even approximate rather than exact. Take care to ensure that there is enough “tension” to drive you so you do not procrastinate and leave it to the last minute. You don’t need research to tell you that goals set in the near future are more likely to be accomplished than goals set further out in time, as are goals with a timeframe (that research has been done, too). Chunk the goal down and set tighter timeframes on the chunks, even though the final goal timeframe may be loose. These smaller victories are easier to win and will make the outcome much less daunting. Try focusing on a 3-month window. What happens if you miss a deadline? Firstly, don’t beat yourself up about it. That won’t put you in the best frame of mind to deal with it. Simply stop, look at the situation, analyze your options and decide on a new course. For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources Photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash  Set lots of goals, in all areas of your life
Lots is too many. Try 3, or even 1. Focus on this. Neurological research has shown that multitasking is a myth, and all you are doing is a lot of things poorly (unless they are very simple, like walking and chewing gum). For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources Photo by Andrew Wulf on Unsplash  I can’t change the goal once I set it, so I often fail
The goal gives you direction. The work you do is along the path. On the path you learn, fail, have fun, and succeed. You change. Suppose you get down the path and decide that you want a different goal, what do you do? You change the goal! For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources Photo by Jens Lelie on Unsplash  Skid Steer Loader Have you ever driven a bobcat? Well, a skid steer loader (Bobcat is a brand name). Most would say no. Imagine, if you can, sitting in this 3000 kg machine, about to slide down a hill and possibly tip over. It is a very, very scary feeling. The problem was that the path had a slope and was not safe for the machine.  The Slope I hired the machine for a few days to do some earthworks on our property. We live on a mountain side and the block is terraced and sloping. Being relatively inexperienced at driving such a machine I had overestimated my ability to achieve this goal. Sometimes setting goals and working towards them can have some scary moments. So, what do you do? You build your own path and reset the goal. I had to construct a safe path, using the machine, to get it to where I needed it. This delayed the work but it was necessary. I reset the timeline, rather than changing the goal (either is an option).  The Path The more I used the machine the better (and more daring 😊) I got, so my confidence level increased. I still had to build the safe path in the early stages, and that is ok for you to do, too.
 Nobody uses visualization, I don’t need it
Did your parents read you stories when you were a kid? Did you see the characters in your head, see the pirates on the roiling seas, hear the roar of the dinosaurs, feel the distress of the damsel, feel the power of the magic, reel at the actions of the villains or celebrate with the heroes? If so, you have visualized, you have thinkualized (see Myth 10). Visualization is the process of creating the image of a desired goal in your mind. Thinkualization creates a full sensory experience in your mind. The image provides a clear motivation for the subconscious and conscious. So, who uses mental imaging, anyway? Here are a few examples. Sport – ever since Dr Dennis Waitley took the visualisation program used by NASA, for the Apollo astronauts in the 1980, into the US Olympic program mental imaging has been used in sport. It is used for skills development and rehearsal. Engineering – it is said that Nikola Tesla, engineer and physicist born in 1856, and the inventor of the AC electricity supply system we use today would visualize an invention in his mind with extreme precision, including all dimensions, with no models, drawings or experiments, before moving to the construction stage. Engineers and architects use mental imaging to imagine what their creations will be like and how they will perform. Music - Musicians use mental practice in learning to master a musical instrument or a piece of music. Legendary classical music pianists Arthur Rubinstein and Vladimir Horowitz practiced in their heads Medicine - Studies have proven that mental imaging enhances surgical technical skills for doctors operating on patients by up to 30%. Health - What you think about your health does influence your health. It will influence the decisions you make about what you eat, whether you exercise and what medical attention you will seek. For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources Photo by Samuel Zeller on Unsplash  I feel selfish if I set goals to get things for myself
Everything you do, everything, is for your own benefit. If you work for charity, do a friend a favour, help little old ladies across the road, work 80-hour weeks at work – it is all for you. It fulfils your needs to contribute, to help others, your obligations to provide for your family, all for you. AND THAT IS OK. As the cabin crew always tell you “Fit your mask before helping others”. The happier you are the more you can help others. Set your selfish goals! For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources.html Photo by Madsmith on Pixabay  Repeating my goals over and over is not really necessary
One of the best neuro-tricks you can use is to program your subconscious. Your RAS notices things (such as change, opportunities) and your amygdala processes fear. Your subconscious warns you of danger (don’t go down that dark alley). Program your subconscious to work for your goals and not against you. Repetition helps with this. Also, see Myth 15. For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources.html Photo by Chris Ried on Unsplash  I don’t have any goals
What do you want? Any of these? - Career, travel anywhere, finances to support you, great relationships, toys (cars, boats, planes and trains), jewellery, houses, to create, to be in business, to be fitter and healthier, have nice clothes, change lives, make a difference. Sure, you have a goal. It is there, find it and work out WHY you want it. Then work out how to get it. For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources.html and read “Are you doing what you really want to do?” Photo by Deanna Ritchie on Unsplash  I don’t deserve my goal
Feeling you don’t deserve a goal can stop you pursuing it. Once achieved you can feel undeserving (Imposter Syndrome) and lose it. Dig deep and find the reason WHY you want it. Reflect on this every day. Take responsibility for your goal. Break it into chunks. After achieving each chunk, celebrate. Reflect on what you have done, and on your WHY. At the finish you will know it is your success. For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources.html For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog Photo by Anthony Delanoix on Unsplash  I don’t need to read my goals every day, I know what they are
Repetition is powerful. You tend to believe something if you see/hear it enough times. This is the basis of most advertising and … fake news. It is called the Illusory Truth Effect. Why not put it to work to reinforce your goals? Another neuro-trick is the Zeigarnik Effect – your subconscious needs to finish what you have started. Repetition helps this work for you, too. Also, see Myth 16. For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources.html For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog  When I compare myself to others I don’t have what I takes to achieve my goals
Comparing yourself to others in a negative way can cause feelings of inadequacy, fear and stress that limit your actions and achievement. Often you are comparing your across-the-board abilities with their specific and focused expertise; your weaknesses against the combined strengths of all of those other people. Others don’t necessarily have a better life, they have a different life; don’t compare yourself to them. Social Comparison Theory proposed by psychologist Leon Festinger suggests that people have a need to get accurate self-evaluations of their attitudes, abilities, and beliefs in comparison with others. So, what do you do? You make comparisons that drive you to achievement. The most productive comparison you can make is with yourself. Where are you now, and where do you want to be? Where you can get value from others is through traits, not through direct comparison, but through modelling (copying) the valuable traits you can see in others that you would like to develop. For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources.html and read “Comparing Yourself with Others” For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog Photo by Edgar Castrejon on Unsplash  I can’t progress as I worry about all the things that could go wrong
Worrying can be the cause of procrastinating, but there are tricks to conquer it. Try thinking about “What is the worst that can happen” and come up with strategies. Chances are you’ll never use them. Try the Delay Script technique – set aside time to worry about it in 2 hours. By then your subconscious will likely have a solution, or it won’t matter. And remember, chunk the goal down and tackle it in bites you can handle. For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources.html See “ Flowchart Exercise in Dealing with Fear” and “Flowchart Managing Goal Setting Stress” For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog Photo by Geralt on Pixabay I don’t need a mentor, coach or advisor There are always some activities that you are not so good at, or don’t know about. Outsourcing those parts, while focusing on your strengths, can help you accelerate your progress, avoid mistakes and obstacles, avoid problems, keep you on track and motivated, and open doors for you. Even Richard Branson, Warren Buffet and Mark Zuckerberg had mentors. Get a coach. For more information of getting a mentor, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources.html and read “How to Get a Mentor – Role Model or Sage”. For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog Photo by Liane Metzler on Unsplash   The stress of setting goals stops me from achieving them
Stress in goal setting can come from a fear of failure, fear of letting others down, or even fear of success when you don’t believe you can play at that level (Imposter Syndrome). The options are to run away from it or use it as a driver. Procrastination is the run-away option Let’s turn this around. The tension is a driver; it is a motivator for you to act. You achieve motivation in two ways. The first is to move away from discomfort (push-in-the-back motivation), or move towards something pleasant (pull-forward motivation). Both work and you can use both. Having a clear and compelling goal is pull-forward motivation and stress and tension are push-in-the back motivators. The trick is to balance this tension. If it is too high, use relaxation techniques or the “What is the worst that can happen” technique (see Myth 21). For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources.html. See “ Flowchart Exercise in Dealing with Fear” and “Flowchart Managing Goal Setting Stress” For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash Goals should be visualized Well, yes, but not just that. They should be THINKUALIZED – in your mind image the goal as achieved and imagine it using every sense – sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, temperature and even proprioception (knowing where your body is in the space around you – this enables you walk, or to catch a ball). Imagine the time of achievement is now, in the present. For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources.html For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog   When you set your goal share it with everybody to keep you accountable
Don’t do that. Goals in the early stages can be fragile and if not properly incubated, they can perish before they are even born. Allow time to define the goal and make some progress towards it. Discuss it with a mentor or trusted advisor, who is not threatened by your success. Once the goal is firm and defendable, then tell others; some of them may want to join you on the journey. For more goal setting myths, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/blog For more tips on setting goals, visit: https://www.chrislchristoff.com/resources.html Photo by James Pond on Unsplash I don’t have time to set goals Chances are if you are very busy you are busy achieving something. Otherwise, you might consider that the average person watches 18 hours of TV and plays on the Internet for 13 hours, every week. Yes, you have to give something up if you want more in life. Can you take 8 of those hours and spend the equivalent of one working day per week on a goal? 4 hours? Once you get started you will love it. Photo by Heather Zabriskie on Unsplash   I don’t know how to set goals
Do you plan for weekends, put holiday destination images on the fridge, seek advice when you’re stuck, set reminders to do things, arrange other transport if your car breaks down? If so you have set goals, created triggers for action, created visualisations, planned around obstacles, and sought mentorship. You have some of the key tools to be a goal setter! Photo by Sunyu on Unsplash  I can’t get over procrastinating
Sure, you can. Do this – put up post-it notes that say “When I get home from work I will spend 10 minutes working on my goal before I do anything else, because I am a goal achiever”. This is a neuro-trick called an Implementation Affirmation. Put the post-it notes in your car, on your mirror, in your wallet, wherever you will see them. Chances are once you start you will keep going (because progress feels good). Another great way to start is to simply review your progress to date. This will motivate you to keep going. Photo by Aron on Unsplash Deadlines are immovable. No, they’re not. It is better to achieve later than not achieve. Change the deadline. Have a look at this video.  I can’t achieve goals as they are overwhelming.
Break the goal into chunks, focus on the next chunk. There are neuro-tricks to get you started and keep you going. Example – procrastination, just promise yourself you will do 10 minutes work. Chances are you will keep going (because progress feels good!). Simple example - when you have a 70m (230ft) long driveway and 400sqm (4300sqft) of concrete to clean, even breaking the work into sections gives you a neuro-boost, and each completed section is a win.  I can’t set goals. I am terrified of failure.
When doing new things, guess what, you perform poorly. Get used to it. If I asked you to throw tennis balls into a bucket 20m away would you get it in the first time? 10th? 35th? How good would you be after 100? How many misses? How may failures? But really good by the time you have thrown 100, right? Failure is just a step in the process. Do it and do it sooner than later.  Picture this. We have a 70 m (230 ft) driveway, with over 400 sq m (4300 sq ft) of concrete, including paths. We also have a 40 m (130 ft) sandstone retaining wall. The Gold Coast has had 35 days of rain in the last 3 months, 78 days for the year (more where we are). Living on the western side of a valley, with little sun on the south side and lots of trees everything was black and badly in need of a clean. To clean these surfaces, I use high pressure washer. The wand tip needs to be close to the surface to remove the grime. This makes the width of the water jet about 15mm (1/2 inch). To clean the driveway, paths and rock wall requires approximately 120,000 strokes with the water jet wand. 120,000! It takes about 9 hours so is very taxing on the hands, shoulders and lower back. So, how do you do that without giving up? How do you stay motivated? How do you push through the pain? How do you fight the tedium? You use the same techniques as for setting and achieving any goal.
 This image shows the chunking. I simply divided the area roughly into squares, each one the length of a stroke of the wand (pictured) that was comfortable for me (within my capacity) There were several psychological benefits to this:
The rock wall was self-chunking – each rock was a chunk!   This image shows how grimy the rock wall was. The word “clean” is cut through the grime on the rock. I call the font, HPH (high pressure hose) 😊.
No matter what your goal, try using those four steps to keep you in the game:
In my 35 years in financial services, I have seen many businesses and persons come and go. I have seen many meet the challenges of business and life, while others stumble at the first hurdle and never get back up again. So, what was the secret of those who were resilient and able to move on? I think it has to do with their ability to accept their situation, set clear goals, focus on the day to day problems and take the actions required to get where they want to go. Easier said than done for most of us when it comes to goal setting. This is where I would like to recommend Chris Christoff’s book, Goal Setting for People Who Can't Set Goals. An understandable, practical and highly readable book on goal setting and the actions that help us get there. Just one more thing. Chris provides an ‘action plan’ summary at that end of each chapter. Use these summaries to focus on your day to day actions and you will be well on your way to achieving those goals that make a positive difference to your life.
Dr Pasquale Franzese , Fund manager and finance professional |